Promise Me
by ale-la-pazza1
Summary: Set in the finale, but it doesn't follow it completely. Kate's thoughts on the plane while leaving the Island and her subsequent actions.


The plane is starting. She is going back. She has accomplished her mission and is about to reunite Claire and Aaron. She should be happy, glad to be alive, yet all Kate really feels is sadness and an emptiness inside that she has felt only once before. She might be on the plane, but she isn't actually there. Her heart is still on that cliff, holding on to her Jack for her dear life. She hates him so much. He has asked her to leave, to take Claire safe, and she couldn't do anything else but listen. She can't stop thinking that she shouldn't have, he was going on a suicidal mission alone, with no one to have his back. Not like she always had.

As soon as they fly over the main island she can't help but try to look down, searching for him while her eyes prevent her from doing so due to the amount of tears that are blocking her sight. She feels Claire squeezing her hands, even if she has no idea of what happened. One day she'll have to tell her that her brother sacrificed himself to make sure they were all safe. She'll have to explain why Aaron knows him as Daddy rather than Uncle Jack, she'll have to inform Margot, she'll have to tell Aaron somehow. She feels defeated only to think about all those things she'll have to deal with when they land. She doesn't wanna think of him dead somewhere, possibly alone, in God knows how much pain. She should be there, holding him, helping him, loving him until their last breath. This should have been their burden, not just his. He shouldn't have pushed her away, he should have promised that this was not the end of them, but as usual he couldn't lie, not to her.

Claire is still holding her hand but she doesn't feel anything, only numbness. She has imagined many times the moment she would bring Claire back home. The joy of getting back, the knowledge of what she did for Aaron, but this feels so wrong. She is so broken inside that nothing can heal her, nothing except being with Jack, but that is not even an option. She closes her eyes and licks her lips. She can still taste him, his smell on her, his soft lips. Maybe if she keeps her eyes closed long enough, she can pretend that she's still on that cliff, kissing him, lost in a moment utter and pure love but a bump of the plane destroys her fantasies. She's not on that cliff. She's on a plane. Getting farther from him every second and she can't stand it anymore. She thought she could but she obviously can't so she turns to Claire.

"Aaron is with your mother. She's in LA. I said to her I'd contact her when I had come back, but you'll have to contact her. You need to be strong for Aaron and please tell him I love so much".

She lets go of Claire's hand and runs for the door. Everybody is shocked by her actions. Sawyer quickly gets up and tries to keep her from opening the door to get out.

"What are you doing?" he manages to say while he tries to keep her in his arms.

She hits him on the chest. "Let me go! Let me go! I need to go back".

Sawyer cannot believe her. She's on the freaking plane and now she wants to go back. It's always like this with her, she'd always wanna go back for Jack, but he can't let her. Not this time.

"I'm sorry Kate, but I ain't letting you out of this plane"

She screams, a lot, and cries and Sawyer's heart can't help but ache for her. He knows the feeling too fucking well. At least he got to hold Juliet one more time, but what is Kate getting? So in a moment of weakness his grip on her softens and Kate is able to get out of his arms and with all the strength she has in her she opens the big door and she jumps without looking back. She has nothing to protect herself from the impact, she just hugs herself and closes her eyes, imaging Jack holding her and comforting her.

The water is so cold against her skin but she couldn't care less. She takes a good look around, she's not too far away from the shore. She can get there, she has to get there in time to stop Jack from getting himself killed. She swims, hard and fast, she doesn't even bother about breathing, or resting even for a second. Time is against her, she can feel it, she has to hurry.

She has finally reached the shore when she realizes she has no idea where to look for him. She starts walking into the jungle, hoping for some sign or noise that would lead her on the right path. She has to find him but wandering around is not helpful and she needs to get to him now.

She freezes on the spot when she hears barking, it must be Vincent. She hasn't seen that dog in like forever. It is coming closer, if things were different she'd be happy to see the dog, but now she is in too much rush to have this reunion. She's walking in the opposite direction when Vincent runs after her, cuts her way, stops right in front of her and barks at her a couple times. She must be really stressed out because she's starting to think that maybe she has to follow Vincent. To let him know that she turns and walks in the direction he was coming from. The dog happily follows her and then slowly takes the lead. He seems to know where is headed and she can only pray that she's not washing precious time.

Kate recognizes where the dog has taken her: the place where Jack woke up the day of the crash. Jacob told them when he appointed Jack as his successor. And there he is indeed, laying on the grass, covered in blood, alone as she feared, with both his eyes closed. She can't understand what terrifies her more: the blood, the loneliness or the tragic irony of dying when he was reborn. Her legs aren't strong enough for this view so she collapses on the ground, crying and screaming like she never did before in her life. She crawls next to him, she just wants hold him one more time, so she gently takes his head in her lap. She strokes his face, gently and with so much love.

She'd love to say to him a lot of things. How much she loves him, how much she wishes the island hadn't destroyed their happiness, how she never loved anyone else and how she never will, how she wanted to change things to prevent what happened to them. Now she can't and she never will. The tears don't stop, her tears are dropping on Jack's face and they're almost cleaning all the blood from his face.

She keeps whispering "I love you, I love, I love you" in the hope to make up for all the times she didn't. Suddenly she stops. She hears an "I love you" that hasn't come out of her mouth, yet she is alone…it can't be, can it? She leans closer and hears Jack whispering with all the strength he has,

"I love you". She stops crying and tries to keep him awake.

"Jack" she says between sobs "I thought I was too late. I need to get help, I need you to fix you".

She looks around for someone, something that can help her and Jack, but there's only Vincent.

Jack tries to speak again "Kate, you should be on the plane. Why are you back?"

She's smiling and crying at the same time, she gives him the only answer she has "I recall telling you three years ago that I've always been with you and I meant it then and I mean it now".

He manages to smile through the pain, he feels better now, he always feel better when she's around. Her eyes are so full of tears, she must have been going crazy with worry. He wants to comfort her.

"You don't have to worry about me, I'm hardcore, do you remember?" he says. He always know what to say to make her smile, even in a crazy situation like this.

"Yeah, I do. But Mr Hardcore needs some help now and I don't know what to do. Help me here Jack" she replies.

He doesn't know how to tell her that no matter what she tries to do, he's going to die. He doesn't wanna destroy her hope and he most definitely doesn't want her to see him die right in front of her eyes. He tries to raise his arm to caress her face but he can't. It's almost there, it won't take long before he breaths his last breath, he needs to send her away, she doesn't have to see this. She cleans his face from the blood, it's the only thing she can do.

She tries to lighten up the mood. "One way or another I keep ending up being your nurse, did you noticed that?"

He chuckles "Yeah. But I never heard you complain before"

She notices how much it takes for him to only smile. Her heart is breaking for the pain he's in. She just wants to close her eyes and to open them to find him magically fixed, but it doesn't work that way. She just holds him even closer and tighter. He doesn't talk to save the strength he has left, to be with her a little longer, until death tear them apart. Literally. He fights with everything in him to keep his eyes open, but he can't, he's too tired. He manages to say "I love you Kate and we're going to see each other again, I promise"

She completely loses it and in between the sobs she says "Don't make promises you can't keep Jack"

He closes eyes and whispers "I'll keep it"

She can't hear his breaths anymore. This can't be true, he can't be gone. It's Jack, her rock, her leader, her strength, her guide, her everything and now she is truly lost without him.


End file.
